A Benetton Affair
by Sir Sebastian
Summary: Ron wants to find out where Rufus has been going off to in the middle of the night for the past week. But what he discovers.. requires an awful lot of Brain Soap. My entry for Zaratan's Something Different, Something New contest.


**Author's Note: **The following story is my entry for Zaratan's _Something Different, Something New_ contest. It is a continuation of Pharaoh Rutin Tutin's _Steal A Penny For Your Thoughts_, with the good Pharaoh's approval of course. Reading said story is not required for getting the hang of this one, but is highly recommended.

So far I have just this short first chapter. At this point I have no idea where to go with this story, so I'm not sure when I'll update.

I want to thank _cpneb_ and _Pharaoh Rutin Tutin_ for betaing (sp?) the first draft.

**WARNING!** Contains a VERY unconventional pairing. If you're easily offended, read no further.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the show or any of the characters (as if anyone didn't already know that). Kim Possible and all related characters belong to Disney.

* * *

**A BENETTON AFFAIR**

The slight creak of the window was his cue. Ron opened his eyes to see the curtains flapping in the breeze coming from the opening. Tonight he was going to get to the bottom of this. He got out from underneath the covers, fully clothed in his mission gear. Stealthily he got out the window onto the roof, just in time to see a familiar pink shape scurry along the driveway.

Ron fired the hair dryer at the tree, and swung down landing in a crouch. He let out a silent sigh of relief for picking up the grappling gun instead of an actual dryer. He thought he'd never live down the ribbing he got from Motor Ed that one time. He peered around the corner of the hedge lining their yard and saw Rufus running down the street. Being careful to stay in the shadows, Ron followed him.

Rufus had been sneaking off in the middle of the night for nearly a week now. Ron only knew about the excursions because the flapping curtains sometimes knocked over his reading lamp, right on his head. An enlightning experience for sure. When he tried to ask his little friend about it, Rufus just shrugged his shoulders and acted like he didn't know what his human was talking about. Ron wanted to respect the little guy's privacy - even naked mole rats were entitled to it - but he was growing concerned for his friend. After much debate, he was determined to find out where the small rodent had been going off to. Just to make sure he wasn't in any trouble.

Just a few blocks down, Rufus stopped and smelled the air suspiciously. Ron dove into the nearest driveway. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea having nachos and cheese before going to bed. Rufus looked around, and seeing nothing, he continued. Even though Ron tried to keep a little more distance between them, Rufus still stopped a few times sniffing Ron's eau de fromage.

Twenty minutes of follow the critter lead Ron to the warehouse district. Now he had trouble keeping up with the nimble rodent in the dark passages and lost sight of him. He searched around and tried to listen for movement, but it was for naught. Rufus had escaped him. Just as he was ready to give up, Ron saw one warehouse door slightly ajar, with light pouring from the opening.

After a moment's hesitation, Ron pushed the sliding door enough so he could squeeze through. Once inside he was greeted with stacks of crates. There was something odd about the way they were stacked. The stacks rose high, creating a wall going from one wall of the warehouse to the next. The only way through was a gap near the edge. It lead to a passage that zig-zagged a couple of times.

Ron weaved through the crates as quietly as he could. He stopped at the last opening in the stacks; he could hear a familiar voice. A female voice.

"Not that I don't appreciate these visits, but I thought you said this was a one time thing?" the voice asked.

Ron couldn't make out Rufus' gibbering. He was the only person who could understand his speech, but he wasn't close enough to hear it clearly.

"Aww, that's so sweet," the voice cooed," no one's ever said anything so nice to me."

Again Rufus' reply went undeciphered. Though apparently Ron wasn't the only one fluent in naked mole rat.

Curiousity got the better of Ron; he really wanted to see what was happening. He peered around the stack of crates. Never in a million years would he have expected this.

The rest of the warehouse was almost entirely open space. The central area had been furnished to resemble a living room; one out of most men's wet dreams. In addition to two big couches, there was a reclining chair with all the trimmings in front of a HUGE plasma screen and a surround system that would make George Lucas drown in his own drool. Some distance away from the 'living room' was a king size bed.

What had Ron so shocked was the two figures on the bed. Lying there was Shego in her underwear; black-and-green, lacy, sexy underwear. Ron was engrossed in the simple, yet elegant patterns that played with Shego's luscious figure. When he was finally able to tear his eyes from her, he saw Rufus lying next to her holding her hand - her finger, to be precise.

The events that followed nearly ended all of Ron's higher brain functions. He was paralyzed, and was unable to look away. It was like watching a train wreck; a sexy, sick and wrong train wreck. A number of thoughts crossed his mind.

_'Sick and wrong!'_, was the foremost thought.

And then, _'GO, RUFUS!'_

Followed by,

_'Wow.'_

_'Where'd he learn to do that?'_

_'I wonder if Kim would like that..'_

_'Sick and wrong!'_

Eventually - after learning a thing or two - Ron dragged himself away from the disturbing scene and navigated his way through the crates, heading home. He didn't get any sleep that night.

≈O≈

_Moaning._

Ron wrapped the pillow around his head.

"_Oh, Rufus! You **are**__ the Tunnel Lord!"_

"Make it stop!" he screamed.

_Panting._

"_Yes. MMMmmm.."_

He put his hands tightly on his ears and curled into a fetal position.

_More moaning._

_Screaming._

He couldn't silence the voices; there weren't enough pillows in the world.

The sight of Shego naked, moaning with pleasure would have been enough to cause any man a terminal nosebleed, if the blood wasn't already being routed through other parts of the anatomy, that is. But Ron couldn't get over the fact that it was his friend Rufus - Rufus! - who was causing the mind-blowing scene.

_Rufus and Shego? How in the Hell did that happen? Can it get any wrong-sicker!?_

In the crack of dawn Ron could hear Rufus sneaking back into the room. The shaken teen sat up looking at the mole rat with bag-lined, bloodshot eyes.

"Rufus, buddy, we need to talk."

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To be continued. Probably... 


End file.
